Hmmm, I have a love/hate relationship with Thursdays. They are great because it means Friday is just around the corner, but they kinda suck sometimes because I am worn out (mentally and physically) by the end of the week. It takes a lot of effort to get out of bed on Thursday mornings, especially since it’s been extra cold these past two weeks.
Speaking of the cold. I really, truly think SAD (seasonal affective disorder) is a real thing. Some might think it’s a load of crap (ahem, Tony), but I believe it! I am a grumpy grouch in the winter and would love to just hibernate all day in the warmth of my home, sipping on coffee, reading books, watching Netflix, and baking cookies. Why can’t we be like bears and hibernate during the winter? Perhaps the bear is my spirit animal.
Oh, now I remember why we can’t burrow away all winter long. Jobs. We have jobs and responsibilities. Hmmph. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to work minimally and instead, spend your life doing things that you can’t do because you are busy 8+ hours of each day working, 7-8 hrs sleeping, and 2-3 hours eating, pooping, and checking Instagram on your phone. (Okay, maybe that is an exaggeration, but you get what I am saying) If you think about that, you only have 4-5 hours (or less, if you are a workaholic) to devote to everything else of importance in your life. Don’t get me wrong, I love to work, especially in the fitness field. But, I don’t want my work to be my life. I wish our world ran in a way where we could work about 4 hours a day and then use the rest of the day to spend with our families, go on adventures, have time to cook a wonderful and healthy sit-down meal.
Why am I talking about all of this? Well, lately life has been rush, rush, rush for me. I know this will slow down in about 3 weeks once I graduate, but I don’t want it to pick back up to this speed once I start my “big girl” job. I don’t want to be away from home from 8 am – 8 or 9 pm. I want to come home feeling refreshed and not just face plant on my pillow. I came home last night after a 12 hour day on campus and did not want to be social, my appetite was gone, and I just wanted to sleep. I woke up this morning after 9 hours of sleep and STILL didn’t want to get up. Guys, that’s not good! I’ve always said my own health comes first, but I still struggle with this. I don’t know what I need to help with this feeling of exhaustion besides get through the next 3 weeks and then hopefully not spread myself too thin once I start my job in January.
But it’s hard. Because it all comes back to money. Making enough to support yourself and not having to worry about paying the rent. Making enough so that you can go out to dinner every once in a while or buy a new pair of yoga pants or treat yourself to the Whole Foods hot bar. (Yes, workout clothes and food are the way to my heart) It’s all so frustrating and scary because you want to put yourself first (health – both physical and mental), but you gotta save the dough. This is why I wish we could all go back to the days of bartering and trading. But then there wouldn’t be such a thing as Whole Foods or yoga pants. Sigh…
Ha, I know I am sounding so dramatic here, but really. Why does money control our lives? I hate it. Hate it, hate it, hate it. Money doesn’t buy happiness. Well, it shouldn’t buy happiness. But, unfortunately, since everything has a price tag on it these days, we equate money with happiness. Even I do it. I get all giddy inside when I know I am going to make X amount of dollars this week because I worked X amount of hours. Then it makes me want to work more so I can make more money. It’s this constant cycle that just leads me to stressing about work and money and money and work. That isn’t what life should be about.
Unfortunately, my concerns with money won’t change much, unless I become a millionaire by some miracle. However, I want to try not to worry about it so much and let everything fall into place. Sure, I still need to budget, but I think if I worry so much about money and my work, then I miss out on everything else good in my life. When I get worried about making enough, I always remind myself this: you’ve always made it. Someway, somehow, you have been okay. Never without a penny to your name and never without the support of my loved ones. Times might get tough and I will have to push through, be frugal in some aspects of life (like groceries – more budgeting posts coming soon!), but it will pass. Time will go on, savings will be built, and life will be enjoyed without dollar signs constantly floating around in a little thought bubble above my head.
Sure, I can’t change the fact that money rules most of our world, but I can change how it rules my mind!